Joyful Witness / Kimberly Pohovey
Living by Jesus’ example, showing empathy connects us
When I was young, I was often swept up in the emotion of whatever movie I watched or book I read. Literally for days after, I would imagine myself as one of the characters and feel what they experienced. It sounds a little like daydreaming, but not quite. I would literally get overcome by the emotions the characters felt. I never shared this with anyone at the time, assuming it was unusual.
As I grew up, I translated this same feeling to listening to, reading or watching the news. It felt as if I absorbed the pain and joy of others.
It wasn’t until later in my professional career when my employers used evaluative testing like Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, Strength Finders and the like that I began to understand my own personality traits and those of my co-workers. What surfaced in almost every test I took was a high aptitude for empathy. Learning more about empathy in this context helped me to better understand that I am open to and easily absorbed the emotions of others.
I’ve always been a news junky having studied journalism in college, but there are times I have to withdraw from the news and world events because it drains me emotionally. However, the truth is, I wouldn’t wish this characteristic away because it places me mentally and emotionally in other’s shoes, enabling me to better connect with them.
The First Letter of Peter has one of the most well-known Bible verses about empathy: “Be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble” (1 Pt 3:8). I believe God calls each of us as Christians to show empathy for our fellow man.
Listening to the daily news, I can’t help but think that most of the world’s ills are caused by a lack of empathy. When we cease to feel what others experience, we numb our emotions, and negative seeds can be sown. I think hatred, prejudice and judgment develop easier when we lack empathy for others. I worry for the future of humanity, and especially for my children’s generation.
Back when my oldest son was a freshman in high school, he was inspired to write an editorial for his school newspaper. The title of it was “Just another day at half-mast,” and he expressed how he felt his generation, growing up in the shadow of school and other mass shootings, was growing desensitized to violence and loss of life. Hence, days when flags are lowered to half-mast to memorialize terrible tragedies were becoming routine. While I was proud of him for writing such an insightful article, I remember crying to think that my children and their contemporaries were living in a world of such an empathy drought.
But I find great hope in following Jesus’ guidance. In becoming man, Jesus entered into empathy with us. He experienced the emotions we experience as humans. And, in knowing the pain of others, he was led to perform great miracles of compassion.
He felt for the blind, the lame and all sinners. In one of the New Testament’s most emotional shows of empathy, Jesus, in his own great love for his friend, Lazarus, and in understanding the pain and loss of Lazarus’ sisters, raised his friend from the dead.
Whenever I have experienced pain in my own life, I have felt Jesus’ presence walking with me in my suffering, and I know he weeps right along with me.
Jesus is never detached from us. He listens, he feels and he empathizes with everything we feel. Living by his example, I hope mankind follows suit and uses empathy to create a culture of connection and compassion, not indifference.
(Kimberly Pohovey is a member of St. Jude Parish in Indianapolis. She is the director of major and planned gifts for the archdiocese.) †